"...every girl goes through a photography phase."

I've had a lot of alone time here in France, some of it wanted, others because I haven't been able to find people that I truly click with. And as much as I keep hitting myself over the head and reminding myself that I'm in the most romantic city in the world, my time here really depends on the people who I choose to spend it with, or rather, not spend it with. Yeeesss folks, this will formally be dubbed "The Emo Post." (Although most of my posts can be quite wrist slitting.)

Every girl does go through a photography phase. In paris, I haven't been taking pictures and obsessively freezing every moment in time. I started feeling like a journalist with a 5 o'clock facebook album deadline--always searching for that 8-comments-in-10-minutes-photo-op. I want to experience France as it happens right before my eyes. It makes me kind of sad when i'm photoshopping my pictures and thinking, "Wait, this awesome moment was seen through a digital camera and not with my own eyes." I didn't come here to look through a lens.

Lately I've been having dreams where all my friends from home (you guys..) are here with me tearing the streets up in Paris. With some, we're at the Technoparade dehydrated as fuck because we drank too much before the festival, but we don't care, even as hairy sweaty bodies brush up against our faces because we act like we've made a pilgrimage from half way across the world to hear music. In other dreams, we would spend the whole day doing photoshoots all over paris, and don't spend any money because we'd rather spend our energy looking at pictures of ourselves in different facets of light. Sometimes we would just be. Whether it be at a cafe, observing people with our cappuccino's, or sitting atop the Arc de Triomphe as dusk turns into dawn, we could just sit and be silent, and add in a little sentence every now and then of how lucky we are to be in Paris.

I guess this is where I can really say that my dreams have half become a reality, because I've done all these things already, but not with you.

So this is where the sulking starts, and this is where it ends.

and you're probably in your big house...
with your family...
and your dog.

And probably your dog
has a family too.

You're probably all gathered
around the fire singing carols...
even though it isn't Christmas.

Just for fun.

You will never, ever see this...
because you'll never read this far.

You'll probably never
even visit my site, will you?

I could do anything right now...

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If you are reading this...
then just email this address, okay?

FUNGUSRICE@HOTMAIL.COM

Just email this address,
the address you see above...
and write "macaroni."

Okay? That's all you have to do.

Just "macaroni" and send.

No questions asked.