eltiT

Lately I've been getting calls from the most random numbers. Two of them have been from the Corona/ Sun City area (951 area codes). Of those two, one was made from a rehab center. It was one of those mind-game moments, and believe me, if you watch enough psychological thrillers, you totally start believing that this guy is some Russian spy, or a homeless dude who came across documents in the dumpster (that I didn't shred enough, or failed to shred at all) with my name or number or some shit like that, and is using a super covert, super high tech device that tracks not only my social security number, but my soul and my memories, and my capacity to love, and has it under their control and ready to destroy if ever necessary.

Aside from the disgustingly long run on sentence I've just created, I've been having a pretty solid week. This film class I am taking has been one of the most rewarding courses I've taken in college so far, and a part of me wonders how much influence that pseudo-psychic lady had on my new found love for film. It was a curse and a blessing.

One thing I have observed about my general aesthetic is that I keep it super simple, or super complex. There's no gray area no mixture between the two ends--which almost leaves no room for risk or improvement. It almost makes me feel as though I'm a one note, and when the pressure to "think outside of the box" starts to become tangible and palpable, I give up. What I really want to achieve with my next film project is to not be afraid of experimenting, or making mistakes. There can only be so much creativity in a plan that has been..planned! I want to think of things on the fly, and build on the basics. Play with color! Play with darkness! Play with Loudness! Silence!

I just took a personality test on myself and the results told me that "my type" is so all over the place that we lose sight of the beauty of honing in on one thing. "My type" would also be terrible mothers, who spend so much time bouncing off the walls, that they neglect their children. "My type" is also overly dramatic :)

But, but! my type also has the most fun in bed.

Goodnight!