This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon. /I know. /What do we do? /Enjoy it.

There are a lot of things in life that when looked back in retrospect, no matter how shitty you felt at the time, you wouldn't take back because it's molded you into the person you are today. And that's a completely legitimate way of thinking, but I think the things that I regret the most in life is when I act like a coward. When I'm too scared of what might happen in the future, when I place more value on other people's opinions, instead of what's best for me. I'm afraid of failure, rejection, disappointment. And this in turn leads to extreme laziness (which is one reason I'm writing this blog entry instead of writing my paper). I hate that I have this tendency of shouting to the world what I feel and going in for the kill, but then waking up and realizing I was only dreaming while the water overflows on the stove, or when my friend nudges me to pass the salt. When I'm quiet, I'm thinking and I'm thinking hard about my next plan, everything I do is so calculated. But then I freeze and my plans become a lost cause.

Let's not be scared together. Let's take risks because really, now's the time to make the most mistakes and still get away with them. I'm prepared to get hurt if that's what it takes, but also anticipating positive things that may come. That are to come. That will come.